Home | Let's Talk it Over

Pandemic or no pandemic, I’m grateful for the beautiful weather and the safe paths to allow me to feel safe on a good bike ride.  Left the house at 11:10, all masked up and headed toward SF Bay.  With the water to my right it was beautiful ride to Oakland Airport.  After crossing the road that leads to the terminal, I was treated to a complete change of scenery as I road past Metropolitan Golf Course and through Oystery Bay Regional Park.  That took me to San Leandro Marina with the park to my right and Monarch Bay Golf Course to my left.

Time to head home.  As I headed back to Alameda I made the right turn at Ron Cowan and Harbor Bay Parkway to head toward Doolittle Drive.  Now I had holes 16, 15, 14, and 13 of Corica Park Golf Course on my left.  Now I’m not only grateful for the weather and bike paths, I’m grateful that there’s so much great golf available so close to home.

Now after crossing Doolittle and riding through the old Mt. Trashmore, I got to the Bay Farm Island Bridge  to the Estuary that surrounds Alameda.  Got to the Ferry Terminal, and I was minutes from being home at 1:00.

A lot to be grateful for today.  Let’s keep looking for that shining needle of common ground in that scary haystack of fear.

It was 3:15 PM, when I walked in the door after a great walk, on this beautiful Monday aftrnoon. Ms Fitbit told  me that I have 14,699 steps and for the last mile or so, I was thinking about the apple that I’d eat when I got home.  What I didn’t know is that while I was gone,  Kathryn was making the brownies that I’m grateful for today.  I came into the house, took off my shoes, and poured myself a diet coke and ate two beutiful brownies.  (The diet coke and the walk made the brownies OK.)

I know there’s a reason that even with all the walking I do, I’ve gained weight during the pandemic.,   That said BROWNIES ARE GOOD!  Particularly the Brownies that Kathryn Taddei makes.

As always, let’s keep looking for that shining needle of common ground in that scary haysack of fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I’m grateful for public golf.  While golf is stereotyped as an elitist sport, public golf is what opens golf up to the masses.  Public golf is on full display this week as the best golfers in the world will be competing in the PGA Championship at Harding Park, a public golf course in San Francisco.  What’s a public golf course?  It’s a course, usually owned by the the city or county, where ANYONE can show up and play golf for what’s usually an affordable fee. Today Ron Kroichick wrote a great article in the SF Chronicle titled Harding Park’s Day, Here After 95 Years.

Kroichick describes four golfers, Johnny Miller, George Archer, Ken Venturi, and Bob Rosberg, who came from working class families to win major championships.  Other municipal golf courses in the Bay Area have similar stories, most notably Lake Chabot in Oakland, the public course that produced  Tony Lema, winner of the 1964 British Open.

Alameda’s Corica Park is the quinisential public golf course. Raised in a working class family, golf would not have been available to me had it not been for Corica Park.  I was able to get free lessons and would buy a monthly tickets for about $20.00 that allowed me to play any weekday during the month and after 3:00 on weekends and holidays.  I paid an additional quarter each time I played the North Course and nothing if I played the South. While I wasn’t a great student, I got a great education playing golf with adults of all skill sets, races, and walks of life.  Very few played golf anywhere but at public golf courses.

Corica Park’s current junior golf program is Alameda Junior Golf an inclusive, affordable program, that teaches golf, sportsmanship, and lifeskills to kids of all skill and income levels.  James Hahn, who grew up playing golf at Corica Park is is having a successful career on the PGA Tour and will probably be playing this week.  Corica Park also hosts the Alameda Commuters, considered the best amateur tournamet in Northern Californa.

Friends, you can have your Mar-a-logos, your Augusta Nationals, or any country club you want.  If you want to have a fun affordable day of golf, tee it up at your local public golf course.  When you finish, grab a burger or hot dog at the snack shop.  There’s a good chance you’ll strike up a conversation with someone and find that shining needle of common ground in that scary haystack of fear.

Today I’m grateful for the Alameda Braver Angel meeting that we had today.  Our alliance is a mix of liberals and conserviatives who look for common ground with the people with whom we disagree politically.  We rolled out our With Malice Toward None Initative.

We’re going to be working with religious organizatins, colleges/universities, and civic organizations with the goal is of creating a space for people to deal with their post election emotions (positive and negative), to build our capacities for working together to address our common challenges, and to commit ourselves to a renewed citizenship.

• This is  not  about covering over strong political differences or encouraging people to support whoever wins the election.
• It  isabout a commitment to respecting the humanity of those who differ from us. It is about recognizing our foundational role as citizens to be the architects and agents of a more perfect union.

The payoff in the end is for us to have a country of citizens who can accept that while we disagree on certain things, there are other areas were we can find common ground.

This is another way where we find that shining needle of common ground in that scary haystack of fear.

 

Today I’m grateful for the many ways to communicate particularly during the pandemic. While I can’t visit friends or make physical visits to the offices that I service, it’s all about the emails, phone, calls, handwritten notes, and virtulal meetings.  This week I experienced all four:

• A week ago, I sent a hand written note, extending greetings and warm wishes to a customer.  Today I got an email from another person in the office letting me know that the original contact had left the organization and who had replaced her.
• Yesterday I sent an email to an office manager who I hadn’t been able to visit since February.  I gave her important information about our services and she gave me details on some staffing in her office.
• Today I had a phone call with a contact where I found out about some of the challenges she’s having running their office during the pandemic.
• Like every other week, there have been the multitude of Zoom meetings where my contacts and I could take care of business while sheltered in place.

While we’re going through tough times, I’m grateful that I can still communicate with and service my customers. I’m also grateful that we can maintain our friendships during these times.  Let’s stay creative and open mined in the communication tools that we use and we’ll find that shining needle of common ground in that scary haystack of fear.

Today I got a text from my son who’s in Palm Springs for a couple of days.  117 Degrees! Tomorrow they’re going to start a cooling trend, 116, then 114 on Saturday.  By the time they get to Wednesday, it will be a fridgid 105.

I’m greatful that I don’t know what the temperature was in Alameda today.  It wasn’t hot enough or cold enough for me to care.  This afternoon I parked the car at South Shore, got masked up, and took a great walk down Park Street to Buena Vista, down to Grand, and back up to Shorline, and then to where I parked the car.  The payoff was that it cleared my head and I got positive feedback when Mr. Fitbit who told me I finished the day with 12,982 steps.

Please let me know in the comment section what you’re grateful for today.

 

On February 18, Kathryn and I celebrated our 36th Wedding Anniversary.  We had a great celebration with the whole family at Mom’s house.  A couple of weeks later, we asked Mom to come to our house to have corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day.  That week in March is always a busy because we all get together again on the weekend to celebrate Kathryn’s Birthday.

Not so fast… On March 9, when I went to visit one of my customers, there was a sign that said “Due to Covid19 precautions, vendors are not permitted on the facility.”  I’ve been working at home since that date and we haven’t had a family gathering for 2 1/2 months.

How are your processing the events of the day?  How are you properly taking note of  the tragedy of over 60,000 deaths with mere changes in the ways our families and friends are interacting.  How are we processing the plans that have had to be changed without losing sight of the the real tragedy that has taken place.  This year I was planning on attending the Toastmasters Convention that was scheduled for Paris in August.  The trip was going to include a visit to friends in Castellamonte, Italy where I would be able to see first hand the town where my Grandfather grew up.  While it’s disappointing the convention got postponed until next year, that one year delay is a small price to pay compared to the real suffering.

Two articles in the Monday SF Chronicle struck me.  First is a story is about a 24 year-old woman who was sharing a $4,900.00 apartment with four roommates.  Prior to the shelter in place orders, three of people moved.  Fortunately as the circumstances have gotten more complicated, they are making a deal with the landlord.   https://www.sfchronicle.com/news/article/Coronavirus-May-rent-is-due-and-many-in-Bay-15243652.ph

Then there are situations that while not tragic are unfortunate. This week, the SF Giants were suppose to visit Minnesota to play the Twins.  For the first time Giant’s relief pitcher Tyler Rogers was going to be on the same Major League field as his twin brother Taylor.  While in the grand scheme of things, everything should be alright in the Rogers family, it would have been special family event.   https://www.sfchronicle.com/giants/article/Coronavirus-shutdown-costs-Giants-Tyler-Rogers-15239133.php

How do we process tragic events compared to plans that merely have to be adjusted because of Covid19.

• The tragedy of losing a family member to the virus vs the disappointment of wedding plans gone awry.
• The ordeal being sick in the ICU vs the empty feeling of your senior year of high school abruptly ending.
• Endless, dangerous hours working as a medical provider or first responder vs grandparents having to wait before they can safely visit their newborn grandchild.

As it stands now, there is very little stress in my quarantine activities.  I miss golf and ballgames.  While not fun, this is not much of a sacrifice.   I can visit Mom but have to be wearing a mask, six feet away.  I can also talk to her on the phone.  I just wish whole family could get together for dinner at her house.

Please stay safe and well, and please and add your comments below.  I’d love to hear how your managing your emotions and how you’re putting things into perspective as we navigate through this.

Lets find our needle of common ground in that haystack of fear.

 

 

The golf course is closed, there was no Masters, and no baseball to watch.  Dinners out have turned into picking up takeout while wearing a mask.  Yep, these are my First World problems.  I feel fortunate that I can earn a living while working from home.  With a sales territory that covers the whole West Coast, eliminating travel time has changed my life, as I communicate with my customers via email, phone, and old fashioned hand written notes. Covid19 is the most complicated, frightening, and life changing crisis many of us have seen. Shelter in Place has given me more free time than I could ever imagine.  It’s also given me a new level of guilt.

On one hand, I’m embracing the gift of free time.  Spending more time with my wife, Kathryn, catching up with relatives and old friends, and learning new skills.  As of now, there have been no lost wages or other hardships.

On the other hand, I’ve had two friends are enduring pain because hip surgery has been postponed.  Another, who had a baby and is under extra stress because of the current circumstances.  While my family is safe and well, we all have friends in the medical profession, in grocery stores, or somewhere else on the front lines who are working under unimaginable stress.

We seem to find ourselves in one of three groups.  Families who have been affected by Covid19, those who have become sick and those who have lost loved ones.  People who stretched to their limits and beyond because of long working hours with frightening risks. Then, there are people like me who are are sheltered in place trying to figure out a way to get exercise and not eat or drink too much while we go stir crazy.

So, what’s there to do?  I have some ideas on how we can do some good while lowering the guilt?  Please allow me to share these and I’d love to hear your ideas.

• Volunteer;  While the troops were fighting WWII, there were people in our communities helping with the war effort.  For every paratrooper, there were parachute riggers folding the chutes.  While the police, fire departments, and other first responders were acting heroically after 9/11, volunteers were bringing coffee, water, and sandwiches.  California has a resource called California All, a website that will help Californians find where they’re needed.   https://californiavolunteers.ca.gov/  Lena Smith also wrote a good article, “Six ways Volunteering Makes you Happy” https://chopra.com/articles/6-ways-volunteering-makes-you-happy
• Harvest Gratitude; As your happiness grows through volunteering, keep a journal of your blessings, call a loved one or someone you want to re-connect with.  In the March 15, 2019 issue of Psychology Today, Amie Gordon wrote, “From helping people hold onto their relationships, to boosting well-being, research suggests gratitude may play an important role in helping us thrive.
• Empathy; While most of us can’t take over for someone on the front lines, author, John Medina’s wrote, “Empathy works so well because it doesn’t require a solution. It requires only understanding,”  That says it all.  If you know someone under stress, give them a call, send them a card, or a text of support.
• Develop a skill; While we’re sheltered in place, we have choices in how we spend our time.  There are a multitude online courses,  articles, and You-tube videos available that will help you with anything from perfecting a new dance move to learning a foreign language.

The history books will look back on Covid19, as THE CRISIS OF 2020!  More complicated, frightening, and life changing than anything most of us have seen in our lifetimes.  The history books also look back on the complicated, frightening, and life changing crisis of 9/11. Just like they look back on the complicated, frightening, and  life changing, crisis of Vietnam, Civil Rights, and the Assassinations of the 1960s and ’70s.

As we navigate from one crisis to another, the constant is that they are part of the human condition.  We’ve had them before and more will come in the future.  The skills we take from the Covid19 crisis of 2020 will help us work through crisis that happens in the future.

Please share the ideas and activities that you’re implementing to get you through Covid19.

Stay strong, stay well, and stay safe.

I’m a former Republican who is searching for a new party.  In 2016, as a Republican, my opinion of Donald Trump was so low, I voted for Hilary Clinton. In late 2017 when it was obvious that the GOP were going to act as Trump’s enablers, I left the Republican party and became an Independent.

I’m a capitalist who has respect for property rights and have no animosity toward the rich.  While many have gained their riches by exploiting others, there are just as many or more who served us well and made a lot of other people rich.  We’re benefiting every day by the contributions of people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Warren Buffett.  While billionaires don’t need my support, when I hear them or any other group of people blamed for societies problems, I feel the same way I do when finger nails are scratched on a chalk board.  I also have strong respect for small business owners, some of whom are very wealthy as they serve their communities while meeting payroll, and paying big money for their permits and taxes. The ones who are not serving their communities should be dealt with accordingly.  I feel like that disqualifies me from being a Democrat.

I believe that climate change is real and much of it is man-made. I also see capitalism as one of solution.  Somebody got rich and made others rich by developing solar energy.  Somebody got rich and made others rich designing and building the Prius that I drive.  I’d have no quarrel with other people getting rich addressing other climate problems.  I believe this disqualifies me from being both a Democrat or Republican.

I believe everyone has a right to healthcare.  While I have a problem with Medicare for All, I like Obamacare.  My family benefited from Obamacare for two short periods when I was changing jobs and had to go through that 90-day probation period before I qualified for benefits.  I think this disqualifies me from being both a Democrat or Republican.

There are other issues, some I think I have good ideas on, others I’m not afraid to admit that are so complicated I don’t have good answers for. Some good ideas might come from Progressives, some good ideas might come from Conservatives.  I have a great deal of respect for people who disagree with me on the above issues.

I’m disqualified from being a, Republican because the members of Congress and the Senate are the President’s lap dogs.  They have no interest in providing checks and balances. Most importantly, Donald Trump is NOT a Conservative. Conservatives believe in the rule of law and personal responsibility. He’s loyal to Donald Trump and only Donald Trump.  The Republican Party has signed on to this and now needs to go the way of the Whig Party and other irrelevant parties.  America needs two strong parties and a rigorous debate of ideas.  We need to get something new and more relevant that the GOP.

Have you ever been labeled?  I got off to a bad start at school, quickly falling behind in First Grade and falling further behind as the years went by. It was a funny thing.  I could make total sense out of Rod Carew’s Batting Average and Bob Gibson’s Earned Run Average but couldn’t answer the math questions that my teachers gave me.  I could spell the name of any player on the Giants;  Marichal, McCovey, and probably most of the players on other teams.  Names like Billy Grabarkewitz.  I just couldn’t spell words correctly on a spelling test.  Because of that,  I was labled as a nice kid who wasn’t bright.  You know what?  I started behaving like someone who wasn’t bright and in one way or another, I’ve worn that label for my entire life.

That’s why I hate labels.   When I was in middle school and saw the anti-war protests on TV and on the Berkeley Campus, they were labeled Anti-American and Commies.  While at that time of my life, I wasn’t sure whether the war was justified, I understood that there were many patriotic reasons to protest the war.  I knew in my heart that not everyone who fails a 5th grade math test is dumb and not everyone who is against the war is unpatriotic.

As an adult who leans on the conservative, I’ve become extremely unconfortable when fellow conservatives label liberals and progressives as anti-religion. Being  old enough to have lived through 12 presidents, some conservative, some liberal,  I’ve never had a problem practicing my religion. I’ve seen disagreements regarding where religion fits into public schools and public spaces, and while some have gotten heated, it’s always been safe to be a Christian in the United States.  Not everyone who fails a High School English test is stupid and not everyone who is not sure prayer should be in public schools is anti-religion.

Labels are the easy way out.  Conservatives use them as weapons. Liberals use them as weapons. Labels dismiss the opposing viewpoint without providing substance to refute the viewpoint.  Labels end conversations rather than moving them forward.  I promise you that not everyone who supports a border wall is a racist who hates immigrants.  I also promise you that not everyone who doesn’t support the wall wants the choas that open borders would bring.  There are nuances to our beliefs that can only be found through conversation.

Let’s take take a break from the labelpalosa and start having conversations.  You might find that if you listen with a little bit of respect and empathy, you’ll not only remove the label from your new friend, they might remove the label that they had for you.

Let’s find that needle of common ground in the haystack of polarization.